Male Body of the Week (week 28)

I am sorry, dear readers, but it is true. I am slacking with the ‘male body of the week’ posts. There are two reasons:

1. Surfing the net for images seems to get more and more risky when it comes to catching a virus. I’ve had a couple of them recently and since I am no expert, I want to be more careful.

2. I am so pregnant, it has been so hot in Vienna and therefore I am so lazy (main reason for slacking by the way, I admit it).

But today I will provide you once again with a very tasty male body. Hop on!

Source: zemonstashaus tumblr

Naked Man Poses for a First Date

Last night I saw the ‘Naked Man’ episode of the fourth season of How I met your Mother. Okay, I am not into blonde men and yes, I know that Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris) in real life is homosexual, but ohhh ahhh, does he have a nice body! And I do dig men with a silly sense of humour…

So for all the men out there who are planning a first date and want to give the ‘Naked Man’ a try – it works 2 out of 3 times! – here are some suggestions on how to pose. I’d go for either Superman or Burt Reynolds :)

EDEN – New German Erotic Magazine for Women by Women

For all the German speaking readers – and viewers – of NMHW: there is a brand new erotic magazine for women by women on the market called EDEN Magazin. I have ordered my copy of their first issue today. Supposedly it will be quite different compared to Feigenblatt Magazin. Well, I am definitely excited!

Can’t wait for my review? You can order the first issue here.

Filament’s Wet Issue and Candy Rain No.2

Today my mailbox made my day. What was waiting for me in there: the latest issue of Filament Magazine and the very, very long awaited second issue of Candy Rain Magazine. I put both in my bag and went to work. As suspected it was quiet, so I was able to fully  indulge myself in male nudity and smart reading :)

Filament’s new issue, the wet issue, is again wonderful. I have to say that men- and photography-wise it has immediately become my favourite of all the eight issues I possess. The photography by H. Morgan is breathtakingly hot and makes me want to make out with my partner right now… Mhh! Also wonderful are the cover guy, the man taking a shower and, and, and… All lovely male bodies!

Of course the reader is treated as usual with good articles to feed the brain. I particularly enjoyed the one about female pirates by Cornelia Grey, the Sex in Water article by Kitty Stryker and Samantha Fraser‘s “Modern Marriage: to have, to hold, to question”. Additionally, there are the steamy, erotic short stories by the three winners of the writer’s contest. True, I was disappointed that my submission was not among the winners. But that does not make me love Filament any less :). In fact, I decided to publish it here on my blog. Your feedback is more than welcome!

So what about Candy Rain Magazine?

I pre-ordered the second issue in April last year. Since nothing came, I’d started to fear I had been conned. But Momma D – the ‘cummandeer’ of the magazine – convinced me to be patient, so I waited… and finally… today I received it!

Candy Rain is an American magazine for ladies who love the D. And I tell you, there is a lot of D in there. In all sizes and all states. Real and fake. With cream, with bananas, with champagne.

D., D., and more D…

Candy Rain is simply a crazy mad magazine, very colourful, with funny comments, interviews and sexy stories like “La Professora” by Hunter London. There’s even Pac Man sex – for the nerdy ladies among us ;).
It might all be a bit too much, but if you love cocks you should at least have one issue, for there’s definitely a D in it for every woman’s taste.

Like it or Not – TV series going Porno

Is it me or is it getting worse? Those of you who have seen last week’s episode of Game of Thrones probably know what moment in the series I am referring to. I am convinced many male viewers enjoyed the long girl-girl scene. My partner did ;). I on the other hand was and still am a bit annoyed. First of all, I thought the sex combined with the male character talking about something was simply ridiculous. What was he actually jabbering about? I did not follow. Get my point? And secondly, I just wondered ‘why?’ What was the use or goal of this quite pornographic scene?

My faithful readers know I have nothing against erotica or porn. What I don’t like, is having it thrown in my face when I do not anticipate it, or better yet, when I do not have the desire to see it. But it seems pornography is not much of a choice anymore.

Remember the old days, where you secretly went into a magazine shop and even more secretly tried to have a peek in a dirty magazine? Remember maybe finding an issue of Play Boy / Play Girl in your parent’s bedroom drawer? Or maybe you were even luckier and found a naughty book (‘Sexus‘ by Henry Miller comes to mind) or video somewhere high up on a book shelve you were not supposed to look? Thanks to late night erotic TV channels and the internet those days are gone – forever. Okay, so one can find something sexy to look at a lot easier. If that is a good thing or not, I leave up to you. In any case, it is still a choice to search for it or not.

But how about regular TV series? Series like The Sopranos, Californication, Sons of Anarchy and now Game of Thrones? What is the use of the growing amount of sex scenes? Why do they have to be so explicit? And: why are the scenes in which naked women are involved always – and still – more explicit than similar scenes with men?

Let me refer to two other scenes in Game of Thrones. In a previous episode one man is lovingly shaving another while having a conversation. The viewer senses there is something romantic going on between the two men. When the shaving is finished, the suggestion of a coming blow job is being given: you see one man standing, the other one disappears out of the frame because he goes down on his knees. The man standing closes his eyes and starts to enjoy what’s happening. End of scene. Oh… :(

The character Khal Drogo is the one most female viewers are eager to look at. He might be a bit too muscular for my taste, but he certainly has a dark, sexually powerful aura. Jummy! In the scene where he enters the tent and wants to sleep with his wife in the usual doggy style way – she refuses because this time she wants to try out her previous ‘lessons’ with the servant girl and look him in the eye while they have sex – you briefly see him naked from behind. Then you hardly see anything of his body any more.

Disappointing, or? Unfair, or?

The only answer I can think off to explain this, is one I am reluctant to give because it makes me sound like some frustrated, bitter, male-fiend. But I honestly can’t come up with anything else. Most men simply like seeing sex on TV, no matter what time of the day or in what context. And most men like to see naked women, the more the better, and not naked men. Therefore the sex in TV series must be intended for the heterosexual male viewer’s pleasure only. Men get their porn served, ready to consume immediately. Women ‘obviously’ do not need or want it. We rather fantasize about Khal Drogo in tuxedo taking us out for a romantic candle light dinner in stead of him throwing us on the floor and show us what climaxing is all about. Sure we do.

You might think: shouldn’t True Blood be on the list as well? No. I feel True Blood is the only series where the scenes with female and male nudity is balanced. In addition, the makers of True Blood are able to make the series very sexy without going too far. Also, there are more attractive men to look at than in any of the other series I’ve mentioned. And… you can see more of their bodies.

I can’t think of one hot looking actor playing a part in The Sopranos. In Sons of Anarchy the only hottie is Jackson Teller. What do we see of him? Hardly anything. Then we have Hank Moody as the only hunk in Californication. Being a women-magnet, the girls can’t get enough of him. I have to wonder why: apart from hardly seeing any part of his body in action, he seems to be quite a lazy lover. He is almost always getting fucked. Doesn’t this make his character at least a tiny bit unbelievable?

– Ugly men get to have sex with hot girls (like in most porn movies by the way).
– Hot girls can’t be resisted.
– Hot girls show all and do it like any porn actress.
– Men go to strip clubs and brothels.
– Married men/men in steady relationships do really love their wives, but their lives are so complicated, so… they fuck around.
– The cool wives/girlfriends that are being loved so much by their unfaithful men mostly behave – of course!
– Cool wives/girlfriends do not do it like the hot girls with whom the men have affairs with and they do not show their tits and asses at any occasion.

Very stereotype, very sad really, not to mention very conservative and out of date.

I have to be realistic. The sex in TV series won’t get less. So be it. But then I would like to challenge the producers to give me and all the other women who feel visually neglected some scenes that satisfy our lusty fantasies. I will make it easy for you and give you some examples for the episodes to come:

– Game of Thrones
Khal Drogo comes home from a hard day’s fighting. His wife has been waiting anxiously for him. He slowly undresses in front of her. The camera moves over his body. We have time to enjoy the view. Then he approaches her and gently ties her down to the bed with his belt. He kisses her and caresses every inch of her. He takes his time. The camera stays focussed on Khal and his movements. We see his face, his back and his ass as he enters her and thrusts her. This way we get a good impression what excellent lover he is. When he comes, we want to see him, his facial expression.
Mmm… not bad.

Oh, and the next time there’s some man-man action, I suggest we can see them completely naked, kissing and the usual head moving back and forth in front of the receiving man’s crotch. I am sure this image would not only please us ladies, but the homosexual male viewers as well…

– Sons of Anarchy
Hmm, let me think… Yes. Jackson is taking a shower. He misses Tara, the woman he broke up with, and recollects the memory of them having sex in the bathroom. Remember that scene where one of the porn actresses tries to seduce him, Tara comes in, sends her away and Jackson takes her right there and then? Flashes of this moment go through his mind. Jackson closes his eyes. Water and soap are running down his body. He touches himself, his hand is sliding down towards his cock while he remembers how he pleased Tara. We see some of his memories, then his wet body and his arm moving up and down. Catch my drift?

– Californication
Hank Moody can’t go back to his ex-wife. That chapter is closed for ever. He still has writer’s block and needs money. So what now? He takes on a new profession, the only one that makes sense. He becomes a gigolo. The problem is that he has always been a lazy lover, simply lying on his back and letting the women do all the work. So he needs a teacher. The teacher is played by… ‘Wolverine’ Hugh Jackson maybe? Or ‘Eric Northmann’ Alexander Skarsgard? Hank observes his teacher while he shows him how to properly take a woman to sex heaven and beyond. Hmm, I could also imagine the two of them having a threesome with Monica Bellucci or Sharon Stone…