Finally an article to get annoyed about again :)

I was actually looking for more interesting and especially smart articles about male nudity when I stumbled upon the following text by Jane A. Thomas: ‘Male Nudity Does Not Lead to Women’s Sexual Arousal’. You understand I had to read this. And huray, I got annoyed! Being annoyed means I can write a critical review and yes, I admit, I love writing critical reviews.

The title made me wonder when this article had come into being. I thought it had to be quite old, but it dates from 2009. Oh dear…

The following four quotes made me want to cry:

“Since women tend to be shocked by male nudity, especially genitals, they are censored in our society. Women admire men more for their status or achievements: in smart dress or uniform.”

Eureka! Now we know the reason why male nudity/the penis is censored in our society: because women are shocked by it! That explains why women like to grab it, play with it, feel it, caress it, taste it – and secretly wonder what it is like to have one themselves, well, for a day or two, not longer of course ;).

That women don’t like men because they are sexy, gorgeous and attractive, we’ve already known for decades. That’s why we all marry extremely rich, powerful men wearing uniforms.

“The film ‘The Wedding Date’ includes a scene where Dermot Mulroney is very relaxed about appearing naked in front of a woman (as if!). The woman’s horrified reaction to a man’s genitals not only indicates how female sexuality differs to male sexuality but also provides a clue as to why women’s sexual arousal is much more elusive with a partner.”

I have no clue what the author means with the end of the second sentence. This is also one of the reasons why this article is badly written. Not only is it stereotypical, insulting (especially towards men) and quite incoherent, the author states something without giving any thorough explanation. No wonder, since it is based on… on what?

“Men’s sexual arousal arises from looking at images of the naked body of a sexual partner, which explains the daily sales of pornographic magazines. Women, who have explored eroticism and learned about their own sexual arousal through female masturbation, will know that female sexual arousal arises more from the context of relationships and sexual scenarios (sexual fantasies) than from images of the male body.”

Again, I’d like to know on what information, or better yet what research this statement is based. Men do not fantasize? For men it is all about full-frontal nudity? They don’t enjoy more subtle fantasies? Women don’t get turned on by male nudity? Images of a naked men do not trigger the female imagination? Women are not producing magazines about male nudity and buying them? Sigh…

“Nudity causes men to think about sex even more than usual and they mistakenly assume that women have the same sexual motivations.”

When are people finally going to stop underlining the so-called sexual differences between men and women?! Just because we are meant to think there are, doesn’t mean it is true. For ages we have been taught that male nudity – expecially the penis – is dirty, ugly, pornographic, you name it. I am pretty sure that throughout history there has never been a group of women who decided that from that point on the male body and its genitals are disgusting and therefore shocking. It’s more likely we have a certain institution to thank for that.

Today, in our society, we are not used to male nudity in the way we are used to female nudity. That is the reason why there are still so many women who think male nudity and fantasizing about it is wrong. This idea is programmed in our minds with the goal to prevent women from becoming men- flesh-craving animals :). It is also why men feel that male nudity is only meant for the gay community and/or feel awkward and ashamed about showing their awesome bodies and genitals. Consequently, it is also why there still is so little male nudity out there for women to enjoy and LOOK at.

A beautiful, hawt penis, by photographer Pilo Pichler


I want to stay in bed…

Today I have off from work, which is good because I am a bit ill. I would like to go back to bed and remain there the rest of the day instead of sitting here behind my computer, but then I know the strangest thing will happen. I had already been there early today.

If I would give in and go back to sleep, I will doze off and enter a state of being aware where I am and that I am asleep. The weird thing about this, is that I won’t be able to wake up easily. My eyes are shut. There is no way I can open them. I try though, and that’s when I start being deceived. I think I have managed to wake up, that I am getting out of bed and am walking around the apartment, but I am not. I will realize this, because things are slightly different. The furniture is just not right, or the street doesn’t look the same. Maybe the sun is shining, but I know that it is raining. So I have to walk back to bed and start the process all over again.

Other times I think there is a man in the apartment. Sometimes it is my boyfriend, sometimes it is someone I do not know. Earlier this morning it was the latter. I knew there was a stranger in my bedroom. I felt him crawling towards me on the bed, grabbing my arms and holding me in place with his weight. His plans for me were obvious. I was not scared – in fact, I wanted it – but I also wanted to see who he was. With all my strength I forced my eyes to open. Through my eyelashes I only managed to see the silhouette of his face. Maybe he was my boyfriend, maybe he wasn’t. It was too fuzzy. I simply closed them again and decided I would go with the flow.

As it started to get really interesting, as in steamy and sexy interesting, I woke up – for real. Grmbl…!

Now, to compensate for this mean act of my subconscious, I got myself an image of a sexy naked man in bed. All I need to do now, is relax and wait for the real man to come home :)


There is nothing wrong with the male body!

So beautiful...

“Like countless American children, I grew up hearing the nursery rhyme that claimed that little boys were made of “snips and snails and puppy-dog tails” while girls were “sugar and spice and everything nice.” Attached as I was as a small boy to our pet dachshund, I thought puppy-dog tails were a fine thing indeed, but the point of the rhyme wasn’t lost on me. Boys were dirty, girls were clean and pure.

We’re raised in a culture that both celebrates and pathologizes male “dirtiness.” On the one hand, boys were and are given license to be louder, rowdier, and aggressive. We’re expected to get our hands dirty, to rip our pants and get covered in stains. We enjoy a freedom to be dirty that even now, our sisters often do not. No mistake, that’s male privilege.”

This is the start of a very open and honest article by Hugy Schwyzer about how we in our society are taught to think that the male body is dirty compaired to the aesthetic and beautiful female body. I can only say this: please read this article!

Male Body of the Week (week 9)

About a week ago, I received the following message:

Hello there!
I’m an amateur photographer, submitting some pics that I took of my husband that you can feel free to place in your blog or website if you wish. I’m very proud of him, his sexy, slim body, and think he’s incredibly good looking, especially for a man of 57.
Even though he is in his 50’s, he is still quite virile and is ready to make love to me every single day. I think you’ll find that other women will also find his look very appealing.

Naked Men, Happy Women agrees!

Photographer: my friend Joanne from Canada


When will I see Peter all Naked…

Why the clothes... sigh...


I have a new object of desire. Not in this world of course, but I’d like to think in a parallel world: Peter Bishop (Joshua Jackson). Yes, I have recently started watching Fringe and I love this series! Parallel worlds, many worlds theory, you name it, it is all my cup of tea. And then the eye candy… sigh… I like him best when he looks either angry, or when he is kind of looking innocently naughty. Mhh!

There is just one big problem: he is not naked…

For fans: a nice website, dedicated to this hot actor. Oh, and another one

Ahhh… The Netherlands…

A great article about pornography for women and the Dutch television channel Dusk, by Suraya Sidhu Singh:

Delfts Blauw


“It’s recently come to worldwide attention that a television channel featuring only porn aimed at women – Dusk – is thriving in The Netherlands, and has been for three years. The channel features the work of prominent female porn directors such as Erika Lust and Jennifer Lyon Bell, and a range of other explicit adult films aimed at women.”

Delfts Blauw


“The changing world of porn for women indicates that if women aren’t increasingly holding the purse strings and calling the shots ourselves, we’re at least starting to be involved far more in the design and production of that which targets us as consumers.”

Read more.

P.S.: my country makes me proud! :)

A Baker sells Bread, not Apples.

First thing I read this morning, was a Live Journal post by Filament Magazine. In this post Filament asks her readers if the magazine lacks larger women and women of colour. I have already written a reply on Filament’s Facebook page, but since I can’t get this question out of my mind, I obviously need to write something more. Good thing I have a blog :) !

As I started my comment on Facebook: there is always a group of people who feels left out, neglected or ignored, no matter what the issue is about. It is quite simple though: you can’t blame the baker for not having apples, just because you want an apple.

If you buy Filament Magazine, you buy a magazine that is meant for women who desire:

1. Stimulating reading
2. Saucy fiction
3. Beautiful men

It says so on the cover, you can’t miss it. So to me this makes it very clear what I can expect. Although men can certainly read the magazine and enjoy its photography, the target group is still women. If you are a guy buying the magazine, you therefore can not complain that it hardly offers female nudity. Same goes for homosexual women. If you are a homosexual man, you have to accept the photography is meant to arouse and please the female gaze. If the images do not appeal to you, you buy yourself a gay magazine.

The woman who made Filament think about the visual representation of women in the magazine complains they don’t show plus size women… Considering the above, I do not understand where this complaint is coming from. As Filament replies in the post, they hardly show naked women in general. See point nr 3: Filament offers beautiful men.
I am very happy about this, because it really, really annoys me that almost anything erotic that is out there for heterosexual women – magazine, films, documentaries – mostly shows female nudity. The fact that Filament does not, makes the magazine not only fill in a long neglected market niche, it makes the magazine stand out.

One could ask Filament why they do not have let’s say more 35-plus male models, or Asian male models, or why Brad Pitt is lacking, or why the Chippendales are not featured naked. Those questions fit to the magazine’s subject, namely naked men. But in the end one magazine can’t meet every one’s wishes. And of course there are men and women of all sizes, ages and colours. That does not mean they should all be represented in a single magazine, especially not in one that specializes in a certain theme.

Erotic and pornographic magazines are not about representing society and visualizing reality, they are about triggering fantasies, lust and the imagination. It does seem to me that people tend to lose track of that, confuse what is real with what is not. I for one do not want to fantasize over images of Christian Bayle having sex with a woman like me, who is 35, does not like to do sports (so imagine…) and on top of that is pregnant as well. I also don’t want to lust over images of Johnny Depp with a beer belly, just because that is reality. In my fantasies I have the freedom to rule out reality and that’s exactly what I want an erotic magazine to offer me.

Filament Magazine is what it is, nothing more and nothing less. It is even better: it is an one-of-a-kind magazine. My answer to Filament’s question is:

Dear Filament, please don’t get distracted by things people want that have nothing to do with what you are aiming for! Don’t lose track and give us more beautiful men!